This week has been full of realizations that might have taken too long to make. It's been something that everyone has seen, and even if I saw little bits and pieces of it, I was too stubborn to believe them... That, and too optimistic.
Well, tonight I was reading one of my dear friend's blog, and I stumbled across this..
"because It seems like giving up hope in people I care deeply about is accepting failure. But, in retrospect, I suppose I need to do what I need to do to protect myself. Essentially, this is a vital defense mechanism that I have yet to master.
I guess If I should have high hopes for anyone changing, it should be for me."
It really spoke to me. I have SO much hope for people, and believe that they can become the person I need them to be. Newsflash, they can't, and I'm not mad, or bitter about it, I'm just accepting it and moving on. I used to believe that it was just bad timing, and that may very well be true, but I can't keep thinking that because it's tearing me apart. It's not worth the effort, especially since I'm getting no effort in return.
Nice guys (and girls) may finish last at first, but that's only because God's has something better for them. And hey, if I'm completely wrong about this, it'll happen without me having to make 100% of the effort. For now, I'm moving on with my life. Maybe I'm numb, or maybe it's because I, for the first time in my life, have a group of friends (and coworkers) who have my back during this time, but I'm doing fine, and I feel as if it'll only get better :)
And to my friends, I love you guys, and I'm counting on you guys to keep me accountable for this decision!!
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