1st Week in Athens!

Unfortunately, I think I'm coming down with something so I'm not currently feeling up to par, but it's been over a week since I've blogged and I've been in Athens for a week now so I figured it's time for some updates!

By the way, due to my lack-of updates, this will be somewhat scattered and long. Bear (bare?) with me. I'm hoping to blog more in the future so those will make more sense...Maybe

So what has living in Athens been like you ask? I shall tell you in a list!

1. We traveled, and traveled, and traveled some more until we got here last Tuesday around 2:30pm Athens time. Flying 3 times in 3 days was no easy task for this girl who's only plane experience was flying to Dallas in high school. Jet lag kicked in right around my flight from Germany to Athens because I couldn't fall asleep on the 8 hour flight from Chicago to Germany. But, I thankfully made it until 9pm Athens time so I didn't really suffer from real jet lag.

2. We've done a lot of exploring! Heck, we constantly explore the city. Athens is huge, and every time I think I've figured something out, I quickly get confused and am reminded I have no idea what I'm doing and am so thankful for the fact that almost everyone else does.

Side note: I'm almost confident that I know how to work public transportation but I'm not 100% sure.

3. Mars Hill is super close to our hostel and we've been there three times. Wondering what Mars Hill is? Apostle Paul SPOKE there. Read Acts 17. The first time we were there was daytime and one of the STINTers (long-term missionaries/people in charge of us) gave a devo on Acts 17 while we were up there. It's so amazing, to me, that so much from the Bible actually happened here!

The other two times we were there were at night and we had sketchy/weird (don't freak out mom) experiences there BOTH TIMES. Thank God for giving us men that actually enjoy hanging out with all of us girls after dark and help keep us safe. Lol

4. The food is fabulous. There has only been one meal I haven't liked and that was when I decided to get a "Boston Burger." Everything Greek is delicious and I'm officially addicted to Gyros.

5. We went to the beach on Saturday and it was so much fun!! I got unbearably sunburned from it, but swimming in the Mediterranean Sea was well worth it (depending on how much longer I'm in sunburn pain). I'd also like to add that the Mediterranean has zero sharks and/or seaweed which makes me love it when I'm not accidentally swallowing the crazy salty water.

6. We started going on campus yesterday! I have a great group of teammates and I'm feeling very blessed to have them with me. It's a great experience to meet Greek students and struggle with understanding each other's languages while really engaging in each other. It's been super outside of my comfort zone, but I'm proud to say that not only have I initiated conversations but I have participated as well!

7. The love I feel for my GPI team (the people on project with me) is unreal! I have only physically known these people for 10 days but it feels like I've known them for so much longer! They are so willing to be vulnerable with me, as well as let me be vulnerable with them and I'm just so appreciative of that. I'm so proud to call each and every one of them my friends. They will forever be my Cru region, and we're already talking about flying me out to Colorado for DCC (their winter conference) and keeping me a part of the group!

8. We got the chance to help out with Hellenic Ministries last night and will have one more opportunity in a couple weeks. Hellenic Ministries is an organization that gives food, showers, laundry, etc to refugees coming from all over the place that are just stuck here in Greece waiting to make their next move. The organization shares the Gospel and hold camps for these refugees as well. We were fortunate enough to serve what they call Love Meals to refugees and it was such a great experience. It really put a lot into perspective for me.

One of my favorite moments had to be when I was chosen to go clean the bathrooms. I was mortified. I had actually remembered hearing them say the other group had to do it and snickering to myself because I was so happy I didn't have to. (ha.) Well, the man who assigned the job to me was joking about me being blessed for cleaning the bathrooms and another told me that God was in there with me so I started telling myself, "you need to thank God for giving you this opportunity to clean toilets right now." It didn't take long before I truly was thanking and praising God for giving me the PRIVILEGE of doing this for these refugees who so badly needed to be served.

I think that's about it for my first week in Athens.

God is really working in my life here and I'm feeling so incredibly grateful for the group He's brought me here with, the love and relationship He's showing me and helping me build with Him, and the things He's doing here in Athens.

I know I keep saying this, but people, God is good!

this trip has officially begun!

Summer Project is here! It's begun! And to be honest, it's already been kind of a roller coaster of emotions for me.

I got into Chicago (where I'm currently residing) around 12:30 central time yesterday, but an important part of my story starts before that..

My flight was scheduled for 6:45am PST and I was ready. Had a small ripped pants mishap (yep. It happened. Right in the front), but I was good to go! Saying good bye to Tommy was awful, of course, but I knew that one was coming. I made my way through security and found a familiar green coffee shop to get some breakfast. I sat down at my gate, ate my banana, sent Tommy a goofy picture of me drinking my iced coffee and waited to board.

Then it hits me. Holy crap, if I get on this plane I can't chicken out. This isn't some spontaneous idea anymore. This is happening.

I can't do this.

Cue waterworks and phone call to Tommy.

After some consoling, I got on that plane and made it but then I got here and met all of my teammates (wonderful people, by the way) and it starts hitting me again.

Oh my gosh I can't chicken out now. I can't go home for 6 weeks!! Why am I here? Why am I doing this?

I can't do it.

I was afraid. Afraid of the unknown. The enemy keeps trying to put thoughts in my mind and get me to think that God's will (me going to Greece) is a bad idea. I read a verse on the plane yesterday and am so glad I wrote it in my journal because it's already come in handy so much for me on this trip

"In love there is no room for fear, but perfect love drives out fear: because fear implies punishment, and no one who is afraid has come to perfection in love." 1 John 4:18

I mean, come on! I'm following God's will for my life! And no matter how great it would feel to be at home, in the safety and comfort of my little Clovis bubble, I have no reason to be afraid! I may not be able to do this myself, but through Christ, I CAN and I WILL!

Today was a much better day. It's been so much easier to see how perfect God's will is, and how beautifully He orchestrated not only my journey here, but of my teammates as well. The only words I can think of to say is that God is good.

I am encouraged by my new friends here on this journey to Athens with me, I am encouraged by my support back home, and I am encouraged by God's love and His ability to cast out all fear in my heart and by His complete power over the enemy.

The trip has begun, and I think I'm finally beginning to consistently feel a bit more positive about it.

But everything is good! And it's gonna get greater! I'm so excited for what this summer holds for me, the people I meet, the people I have met, and for those waiting for me in Clovis.

Please pray that I continue to fight the attacks, and that I grow more confident in my obedience to the Lord.

xo

P.S I probably won't blog for a few days because I'm in for a lot of traveling/jet lag fighting tomorrow and Tuesday. Should be fun :)

these are a few of my favorite things

I'm the kind of person who easily obsesses over things. Now that I'm considering myself a "girly-girl" (I think it's part of this growing up process), I'm finding so many other things to obsess over!!

So in that light, I'd like to show you a few things that I'm absolutely in love with lately...

1. Birchbox!

I pay $10 a month for them to send me a box full of goodies! Sometimes full size products, but mostly samples (but really, who EVER complains about samples). It's perfect if you are like me and want to try really great beauty (and "lifestyle") products but don't want to fork over a bunch of money in case you don't like it. It's a really great program! Also, the men's line just came out of beta and you better believe Tommy gets it! Just go here to learn more and/or sign up. You'll thank me!

2. My new Etsy luckcann Carson purse

I cannot, for the life of me, remember how I stumbled upon this purse, but after months of going back and forth I finally bought it! I love it because it's huge, bright yellow, has tons of pockets, made well, and was well priced. The seller is from Thailand, but it shipped here in what felt like no time at all! So it's safe to say that I had a really great experience. I'm really excited to use this as my "personal item" with all of the flights I'll be taking within the next 2 months :)

3. BAGGU 

Okay, really, this bag does no justice to how great BAGGU bags are. That bag above can hold 50 pounds of stuff. FIFTY POUNDS! ...And it's only $9. Yep, $9. They also have super cute ipad cases, "baby baggus", zip pouches (I'm a proud owner of the small striped ones), and backpacks. And there are a TON of great colors to choose from! Go here and check it out.

4. Spongebob mac and cheese

Because, to me, the character mac and cheese has always tasted better. And because there's barely anything in the box, you don't have to feel bad about eating all of it by yourself.

5. My Old Navy flats

I've always been a sucker for good flats, and these are just wonderful! Super cheap, and they look so cute on. Proud to say the boyfriend helped convince me to get them (he has such good taste), and I haven't looked back since :)

So that's just a small list of things I've been in love with lately. I could really make the list so much longer. Can't wait to see what else I fall in love with in Greece! (already obsessing over Mediterranean food so I can't wait for that part!)

xoxo

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Defeated

I don't know about you, but I really dislike coming home feeling defeated.
I know it comes with the territory, but when it's two days in a row of feeling defeated by ministry I can't help but feel kind of.... Eh.

God didn't promise us an easy life, and giving Him control is honestly really uncomfortable. But what it does give us is an overpowering joy and love from an almighty and unconditionally loving God which in turn is the ultimate comfort.

Even if we aren't feeling like we're doing our best His love never wavers. It never fails.

There will always be defeats, and there will always be victories.
There will always be kids who fall away, and there will always be kids who want to know more.

I guess that's what I'll choose to focus on as I go to bed.
But I will always pray for those defeats, those fallen away kids, and those struggles that still get in the way of God's ministry in my life.

so i'm heading to greece!

and in two weeks i will be on greek soil! I still have about $900 to get and would really love for you to become a part of my journey by supporting me! any donation is helpful.. really, even $10 will help me get closer to my goal. by clicking on the link you will be taken to a site that donates to my account directly. so easy to do!

https://give.ccci.org/give/View/5648435;jsessionid=0C30FDE8A2D9375EBD926013BA37B2F9.dss1

please consider helping me spread the good news of the Gospel and helping serve those in Athens this summer!

prayerfully,
Tayler

Self Worth

"But what have you done to deserve respect?"

The thought that clouds my mind tonight as I prepare to end another day.

"But what have you done to deserve respect?"

I just want to be equal. I just want to be respected. 

By you. By both of you.

"But what have you done to deserve respect?"

It lingers. It never leaves my head, and I fear it'll slip out of their lips again.. and again... and again.

At church this morning, Pastor Joe finished a series on Ruth by talking about redemption. Boaz stepped up and became the kinsman-redeemer by marrying Ruth, and redeeming the name of Ruth's deceased husband, as well as redeeming both Ruth and Naomi. He knew it was a huge price to pay, but he did it anyway.

He continued by stating that redemption involves 3 things:

1. Paying a price

2. Freeing a life

3. Increasing of a value

What's that last one? Oh, right. 

Increasing of a Value

"But what have you done to deserve respect?"

He said that last one was a harder one to swallow, and I understood what he meant but I also felt like I understood what I was worth, because of redemption.. Because I had hit rock bottom once.

But as I came home tonight and got in the shower feeling so low about myself, sobbing quietly to myself, I began to get a whole new meaning of what it means for redemption to involve "increasing of a value."

It took me back to the times that stick out most in my life when I felt insignificant.. The times I felt I had no value:

In 8th grade, when I so badly wanted to be friends with a certain group of girls and no matter how hard I tried, how I dressed, who I talked to, "went out with", etc.. It was never enough. I was invisible

In 9th grade, when I went out with the boy that, up until giving my life with Christ, had permanently caused me to distrust all. He made me cry every single night we were a couple, and though I held strong, he was determined to compromise my morals. I was just a commodity

Wishing I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted with my life. Not feeling pressure to participate in certain activities, or afraid of breaking down and showing just how miserable it was making my life. I was living for other people

The second half of high school, until my salvation, when I felt like I lost control of the two things I held most dearly to me: My grades and my morals. The things I was good at, all of a sudden gone, all because of boys.  My identity and worth was in my boyfriends

And now, at almost 21 years old. Feeling like I'm constantly working so hard, but that it's never enough. Coming home just to feel like a ton of bricks has been thrown onto my already heavy load Feeling unnoticed.

Finally cracking, time and time again, then feeling like the worst person in the entire world. Everything being thrown on me.. Everything being my fault. Feeling inferior, and that I can't do anything right.

"But what have you done to deserve respect?"

Well, nothing. I am a sinner. I fall short all of the time.

"Sin is a part of our DNA. It's a part of us, not a behavior."

JESUS HAS REDEEMED ME! 

My worth is found in no one, but Him. My identity does not fall on my sin! 

I could wake up tomorrow, decide to completely ignore my responsibilities and become a hermit and I would still be worth something to God.

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding" -Ephesians 1:7-8

I will go to bed remembering that Jesus has died for these pains that I feel, so that I feel them no more. He died so that I will not be disheartened by the question:

"But what have you done to deserve respect?"

**Sidenote: As Greece approaches, I have been praying for God to start really breaking me down to prepare me.. Be careful what you wish for, huh? ;)

can you believe it?!

It's MAY 2ND!!! (Well, pretty much May 3rd now)

That means I'm leaving for my trip in (almost) 15 days. 

That's almost 2 weeks. 

Woah.

I still need about $1,000, so if you're reading this PLEASE pray for me!

God is faithful, but the more prayers the better!

xoxo