Haunting

My mind likes to fill with clutter.. LOTS of clutter.
But Lately, this clutter seems to blur with random thoughts of my past.
No, not the past that's usually spoken of, but the past passion I had...
Doing ANYTHING to become a doctor

I constantly find myself filled with so many emotions about medicine, and it just recently began.

Even now, I'm having trouble coming up with ways to put this feeling into words.

But over the past couple of months, I've had this random yearning to be back in the world of medicine. And yes, I will admit that everytime I look at Derek Shepherd, I can't help but be jealous that he is a neurosurgeon. Almost a year ago I went through this; weighing out the pros and cons to medicine, and realizing I didn't have the drive to put that much effort into it. I don't know why I'm doing it again, but it's haunting me.

I can't tell if this is just a phase, or if I really am supposed to do this with my life, but while I pray about it, and let it 'simmer,' time will tell just what this means.

Let's just say that I'm very lucky I still have general ed to finish and have the time to explore different options.