I have so many things that I know I want to blog about, especially the famine! But there's one problem: I am completely unmotivated.
Last Thursday was the worst meeting I've had with the missionaries, and it honestly left me questioning how cut out for this I actually am. Now, I don't know if it's because I'm still having trouble recovering from last week, or if it's the lack of support and direction I'm feeling, but I'd rather do ANYTHING than go meet today.
I'm not going to do that though, because I don't want to run away from problems.
I don't know what to study. I don't know what to do. I don't even know who to lean on about it right now because people I should talk to about this are distant. THAT is the most frustrating thing of all.
I'm leaving for Utah in about a week and a half, and I don't think I'm ready. At this point, I don't see myself ever becoming ready. What is going on? Why am I feeling this way?
I'm now afraid.. And when I'm afraid, I clam up so much so that I contemplate giving up.
Going to have some serious prayer within the next 2 hours.
Hey Sweets, I'm not sure if this is encouraging or not but you will never be completely ready for Utah. It is just a constant learning process, there is still so much to be discovered because it is constantly changing as they search for the consistency they should have but never will. Your trip will have tons of highs and lows with encouraging and depressing conversations and the frustration can get awful, but you just have to keep reminding yourself why you're there. It'll be fine, I really think you'll love it and you will be surrounded by super knowledgable people to help you out whenever you need it. Trial. Love you and have a great trip, keep me posted on how it goes!
ReplyDelete