Ever since I became a Christian, I knew that I wanted to have an active faith. It didn't necessarily kick in right away, but deep down I knew that I never wanted to be "lukewarm" in my faith. I read the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, about a year after I accepted Christ and it motivated me to live the active faith I had always known I wanted to have. Unfortunately, having an active faith isn't easy at all, and sometimes I get so caught up in my daily schedules that I push it to the side.
Even from the plane ride to Chicago, it became apparent to me just how much I had neglected Jesus in the months prior to project and I wasn't okay with that. I wanted to make sure I reconnected with the Lord and started making Him my priority. It slowly was becoming clear just how much I needed to surrender to God every single morning when I woke up, and live by the Spirit in everything I did that summer, and once I got home as well.
This was a discipline I prayed earnestly to have. I wanted to follow God. I wanted Him to strip me of my idols and my desire to do everything on my own. I wanted to trust in Him, and rely solely on Him and His promises.
...Even if it meant that the man I thought I was going to marry, was suddenly not that any more. That God currently has two completely different paths for us, and though it changed nothing about the way we felt for one another, we couldn't stay together because we'd be holding each other back from our real God-given hopes and desires.
...Even if it meant that a week and a half after returning back to America, I would make the decision to pack up and move half-way across the country to follow God. To grow with Him in a less-comfortable environment, with little to no familiarity. To leave the great life I have here, trusting that something equally as great is waiting for me in Missouri.
...Even if it meant that I was going to have to rely on God for absolutely everything in my life. That my "daily bread" would only be provided by Him. That He'd be paving a way for a job in Missouri. That He was going to show up in His timing and not my own financially.
Surrendering to God has been so incredibly difficult and has caused a roller coaster of emotions over the last 8 (or so) weeks. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel during huge changes that don't leave a warm fuzzy feeling right away. But this is the life that God called me to live, and He never promised it would be easy. He did promise to love me and never forsake me, which means that something great will come out of all of this. It may not be what I would have planned/wanted, but God is so much bigger and will give me exactly what I need.
Even from the plane ride to Chicago, it became apparent to me just how much I had neglected Jesus in the months prior to project and I wasn't okay with that. I wanted to make sure I reconnected with the Lord and started making Him my priority. It slowly was becoming clear just how much I needed to surrender to God every single morning when I woke up, and live by the Spirit in everything I did that summer, and once I got home as well.
This was a discipline I prayed earnestly to have. I wanted to follow God. I wanted Him to strip me of my idols and my desire to do everything on my own. I wanted to trust in Him, and rely solely on Him and His promises.
...Even if it meant that the man I thought I was going to marry, was suddenly not that any more. That God currently has two completely different paths for us, and though it changed nothing about the way we felt for one another, we couldn't stay together because we'd be holding each other back from our real God-given hopes and desires.
...Even if it meant that a week and a half after returning back to America, I would make the decision to pack up and move half-way across the country to follow God. To grow with Him in a less-comfortable environment, with little to no familiarity. To leave the great life I have here, trusting that something equally as great is waiting for me in Missouri.
...Even if it meant that I was going to have to rely on God for absolutely everything in my life. That my "daily bread" would only be provided by Him. That He'd be paving a way for a job in Missouri. That He was going to show up in His timing and not my own financially.
Surrendering to God has been so incredibly difficult and has caused a roller coaster of emotions over the last 8 (or so) weeks. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel during huge changes that don't leave a warm fuzzy feeling right away. But this is the life that God called me to live, and He never promised it would be easy. He did promise to love me and never forsake me, which means that something great will come out of all of this. It may not be what I would have planned/wanted, but God is so much bigger and will give me exactly what I need.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11
This was really encouraging to read, Tayler! I am ao excited for what God's doing in your life. Thanks for being such a great example of being faithful to the Father's plans...and for sharing it!
ReplyDelete