This is where I LIVE now.

It has been so long since I've blogged! I guess life has been slightly crazy... By my California standards it's super cold here in the Midwest, but I have yet to see any snow fall (and yes, I am very upset about this). This morning I was drinking coffee with one of my roommates who had already been outside and this is the conversation we had:

Rachel: "It was like 19 degrees outside earlier!"
Me: "But... There's still no snow?"
Rachel: "Nope"
Me: "Dangit! Where's the snow?!"
Rachel: [very lovingly] "Tayler, just because it's cold enough to snow doesn't mean it will."

I guess I didn't realize how often I ask her when it's going to snow :)

So that's my frustration with the weather lately... Oh, and the fact that these drastic weather changes cause my entire head to rebel against my body and my allergies cause me to be sick for days.


But onto bigger and better things: Exciting (but also really kind of scary) news.....

 I'm officially a resident of Missouri!

After jumping through hoops for days to try and register my car in the Show-Me-State, I finally finished everything this afternoon! I also got my MO driver's license, and registered to vote in good ole' Jackson County!

It just got real. Missouri is where I live.

Yeah, I mean I've been here for 4 months (holy shiz, that's 1/3 of a year!) and all, but now it's where I LIVE. When I'm driving down the road, I won't feel like I have a big sign on my car saying, "hey turn and look at this girl because she's not from around here!" or when I'm driving through traffic I won't feel like I'm being judged for "driving like a Californian" (I promise I'm not a crazy driver I just DOMINATE in traffic). I'm just going to be another Missourian driving through town!

No regrets. Never have I ever felt this kind of an exhilarating relationship with my good and faithful Lord!

Next week I go back to Clovis for Christmas so if you're reading this and you live in Clovis, LET'S GO TO KUPPA JOY OR IN N OUT!! :)

It's OCTOBER!

October is-and will-always be my favorite month of the year. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't just because my birthday is in the month of October (October 12th, by the way. And yes, I love my birthday more than most people should).

October means fall, and this is going to be the first fall I experience outside of California. I love California fall dearly because the temperature finally comes down from un-Godly temperatures, but this will be the first year I experience a real fall: Beautiful colors, chilly weather, scarves, crunchy falling leaves, pumpkin candles, folky music, hot chocolate, Frank Sinatra (oh.. my man), and everything else that is good in the Midwest fall. I guess I got carried away and added some things I just want to do regardless of where I'm currently living :)

My roommates have been out of town on a retreat all weekend so I used this weekend to do nothing except stay warm and sleep.. So boring, I know. But now I'm ready to explore the world outside me and see some of what my favorite month entails here in Missouri!

I'm doing some exciting things to celebrate my birthday, like going back to Cali for my ACTUAL birthday weekend, and heading over to CoMo for my "Columbia birthday" the week after.

But I want to have the best-first-real-October ever so now I'm inspired to make a little October goal list:

1. Listen to Frank and the rest of the Rat Pack.
2. Make homemade granola
3. Watch an old movie I've never seen (any suggestions?) while eating homemade popcorn
4. Take up a new hobby
5. Go out and explore KC more
6. Take more pictures
7. Make as many things out of pumpkin as possible
8. Go to a pumpkin patch
9. Do a Facebook fast! (seriously.. now that I have internet I get so sucked in)
10. Spend an entire day with the Lord

...Now to go get started on the exploring :)

Awake my soul, oh Lord.

I have always found purpose in responsibility. Not just one responsibility, but being up to my neck in responsibilities. I feel like I find comfort in that, and from being known. I don't even like new places because I get so uneasy about looking like I have no idea what I'm doing. Even from the moment I became a Christian I threw myself into the church for responsibility and being "known". I really think I was deep-down finding my identity in those things.

You know that moment when you become an adult and you really find out who you are and you are comfortable with it? I don't think I have honestly ever had that, and today I realized that is why I'm here.. Or at least, that's the beginning of why I'm here.

Today was a beautiful [traces of fall] day so I decided to walk to my fav. coffee shop to steal Internet instead of driving there. On my way home I was all of a sudden overcome with emotion because I realized I have never known myself more than I did in that moment. I have never been so aware of me, of God, of the beauty that is this day, and just how much I love where I am/what God has done in my life. I immediately broke down in tears and praise because it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn't help but be in awe of what a great God I serve!

I realized that this time, this place, and some of these people are exactly what I have been needing to finally come into my own.

In Missouri I am virtually a nobody-I have little responsibility, it's highly unlikely for me to see someone I know on the street, and I don't have a name to live up to.

All I truly have is God, and He is helping me figure out how to be an adult, how to spend time/worship Him, how to be honest and accountable, and how to be 100% myself and not the person who accommodates to others.

Yes, I am almost 21 years old, and yes I do think God brought me all the way to Missouri (after beginning this all in Greece, by the way) to awake my soul and awake those passions and desires in me that He created me to have and use for His glory.

Clovis will always be near and dear to my heart. And who knows, I may end up there one day. I built a testimony there, made never ending friendships there (that's right, I do believe in long-distance so you're not losing me), and I learned a lot of really great things, but I think it's time to embrace being a nobody and let God mold me into the adult that follows Him everywhere, anywhere, and to anyone HE wants.

sometimes i really miss greece

...a lot.

Thank GOD that I get to see 6 of these beautiful folks in 6 days :)

with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

Today I worked, had some delicious KC BBQ (I'm hooked and have no idea how I lived without it), napped, then took a lovely walk in the rain for some froyo!

I just love the rain. And the Midwest.

Hope everyone's having as wonderful weekend as I seem to be having :)

life updates...

1. My new Starbucks store is awesome! I loved my old store, but I must say it's a nice breath of fresh air being in a cafe store.. No more haunting "beep" in my ear all day.

2. Residency for Missouri is crazy. Granted, it's all really doable and I'll have no problem getting it all done, but I feel like I'm selling my soul to the state! It's definitely still something I want to do, but I'm obviously emotionally attached to the state of California and I'm saving things on the residency checklist like getting a Missouri license and registering to vote in the state of Missouri for later on in the year.

3. I'm absolutely, 100% obsessed with How I Met Your Mother. WHY did I wait so long to watch this show?! Also, I don't have internet so if I want to watch it on Netflix I have to go to a coffee shop.. Duh I do it. No shame.

4. Today I decided it was hot.. Hey Fresno, it's only 90 degrees. Go ahead and hate me all you want

5. I miss my friends at home SO incredibly much but I love my friends here a lot!!

6. Being a real adult is really exciting to me. Having to budget in gas, groceries, and everything I else I spend is challenging but I just love it!

7. I bought the most amazing mattress and every time I get on my bed I immediately sink in and "hang out" (aka cat nap) for a little bit

8. I really miss my kitties. I really miss kitties in general!! I have 1 roommate who loves cats.. If only I could somehow find a cat and take it and make it my own..

9. My allergies are absolutely killing me here. I have no idea why, either. I lived in FRESNO. Like, really? I didn't know it could get worse than that but it has. I constantly want to scratch my face off.

10. God is really moving and changing me. It's sad to feel like I've left a life I used to love, but I know God is maturing me in more way than I can imagine. I'm finally building a legit discipline in spending time with Him and I'm extremely grateful for the accountability I'm experiencing here in Missouri as well as back in California.

My life, in a nutshell... I think :)

lack-of internet in the wwffp

So I've been living in Missouri for over 2 weeks now and there is an endless list of things that I need to do! I have started crossing those things off (whaddup new bank account and mattress!) but there are a lot that aren't so easy because something is getting in the way... You know what gets in the way of these things? NOT HAVING INTERNET.

Can I just stress how frustrating not having internet is? Granted, it has forced me to get out of the house and explore (aka get lost) trying to find awesome wifi places, but still.

Why don't we have internet, you ask? Well, Google is testing their new service called Google Fiber (google it ;) ) over here in good ole' Kansas City and through we are pre-registered and our neighborhood is for sure getting it, we have to wait until September for pre-registration to close. It's going to be flipping awesome when we finally get it, but I'm ready for it to get here already.

This is proving to me just how dependent on internet I am and it's kind of scary.

And yeah, I know, "first world problems".