Gratitude.

Happy Weekend!! And yes, yes it IS a happy weekend because I have it off.  This means jammers all day, and partying (err sleeping) all night!  I mean, don't be too incredibly jealous because I have an un-Godly amount of homework to do over the next few weeks, but I'm in the home stretch and tomorrow I get to see a dear project friend!!

When I went to start journaling this morning I just kept thinking about things I'm grateful for.  There's a blog I follow who does a similar thing every week so I must have had it on the brain.  I finally decided to start writing them down, and then decided I would share them on here as well...

So here's to gratitude!

For slow Saturday mornings who's only requirements are coffee and Jesus.

For a man who pursues me, and loves me the way my heart loves.

For random kitties who make my heart want to burst with love

For a week of thunderstorms that get this California girl's heart pumping.

For a roommate who shares her computer charger with me every time mine bites the dust.

For dreaming big and knowing Who's in control.

For a God who knows what He's doing, and is never shaken by my doubt.

What are you grateful for?

Sidenote: When did it become April 20th? It's almost MAY! I have been looking forward to the month of May for I don't even know how long.  My best friend in the entire world is getting married to her best friend, my sister graduates high school, my first full-time-student-while-working-full-time semester ends, my sweet boyfriend's birthday, parent's anniversary, I get to go to California TWICE, two of my roommates head to Greece, the list goes on... Cannot WAIT! Let's just hope the weather gets warm and stays that way this time ;)

Intentional

So far so good on this Bible plan I'm on! I know it's only been 10 days but I still get so excited when I get down in the Word. I'm already seeing fruit in my quiet time. Yay!

But lately I've really been struggling with how I can make this semester productive. I kind of spent last semester "settling in" and dealing with all of the changes that have been going on. I didn't really invest in much other than work. The majority of my relationships have been kept surface level, even the ones back in California that have been deeper before.

I decided that this semester is going to be spent loving others, and really diving in to deeper relationships with those around me, and those back in Clovis. God has given me this awesome journey to take part in but in no way does He want me to keep it all to myself. I want to share it with this community of believers, and the nonbelievers I've come into friendships with, and let them be a part of my journey as well.

So my new word is INTENTIONAL. This semester I am back to my one job, and more excitingly I'm back in school! I am entering a new season in my Kansas City journey, and I am praying earnestly to intentionally build relationships, experience my city, progress in my education, and find joy in my God! 

A love letter to the year 2012

Dear 2012,

Are you kidding me? Thanks for rocking my socks off and being the best year to date! I had some of the highest highs and some of the lowest lows, but believe me when I say it was the scariest and most fulfilling year so far.

With you came so many checks off of my bucket list, so many tears of pain and of joy, so many epiphanies, heartaches, dances, and new adventures.

My favorite part of you had to be when I went overseas for the first time, and I'm sure that comes as no surprise. Those 6 weeks were spent doing so many things that I never thought I would do or could do, and what better way to see a beautiful country of Europe than by being there to further God's kingdom and make life-long friendships with some of the most beautiful people I've ever met? It brought so many life-altering decisions and changes, and I learned a lot I liked about myself and a whole lot I didn't like about myself.

2012, you were so good to me and all year I just kept thinking NONE of this would have happened if it wasn't for my lover of a God. The God who wants to lavish me and give me the deepest desires and adventures in my heart. Thank you, 2012, for letting God use you to mold me into the daughter I'm meant to be. I am so sad that you are gone, but I know that this is just the beginning.

You'll be dearly missed, but I'll always hold our memories close. You brought growth and that's all I can ask for.

Love,
Tayler

__________________________________________________________

I'm not really one to make New Year's Resolutions because I can't keep them for the life of me, but this year I've decided to do a 49 week walk through the Bible. In my 3 years as a believer I have never read the entire thing through, and I've decided that now more than ever it's my desire to know more about my God.

This is where I LIVE now.

It has been so long since I've blogged! I guess life has been slightly crazy... By my California standards it's super cold here in the Midwest, but I have yet to see any snow fall (and yes, I am very upset about this). This morning I was drinking coffee with one of my roommates who had already been outside and this is the conversation we had:

Rachel: "It was like 19 degrees outside earlier!"
Me: "But... There's still no snow?"
Rachel: "Nope"
Me: "Dangit! Where's the snow?!"
Rachel: [very lovingly] "Tayler, just because it's cold enough to snow doesn't mean it will."

I guess I didn't realize how often I ask her when it's going to snow :)

So that's my frustration with the weather lately... Oh, and the fact that these drastic weather changes cause my entire head to rebel against my body and my allergies cause me to be sick for days.


But onto bigger and better things: Exciting (but also really kind of scary) news.....

 I'm officially a resident of Missouri!

After jumping through hoops for days to try and register my car in the Show-Me-State, I finally finished everything this afternoon! I also got my MO driver's license, and registered to vote in good ole' Jackson County!

It just got real. Missouri is where I live.

Yeah, I mean I've been here for 4 months (holy shiz, that's 1/3 of a year!) and all, but now it's where I LIVE. When I'm driving down the road, I won't feel like I have a big sign on my car saying, "hey turn and look at this girl because she's not from around here!" or when I'm driving through traffic I won't feel like I'm being judged for "driving like a Californian" (I promise I'm not a crazy driver I just DOMINATE in traffic). I'm just going to be another Missourian driving through town!

No regrets. Never have I ever felt this kind of an exhilarating relationship with my good and faithful Lord!

Next week I go back to Clovis for Christmas so if you're reading this and you live in Clovis, LET'S GO TO KUPPA JOY OR IN N OUT!! :)

It's OCTOBER!

October is-and will-always be my favorite month of the year. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't just because my birthday is in the month of October (October 12th, by the way. And yes, I love my birthday more than most people should).

October means fall, and this is going to be the first fall I experience outside of California. I love California fall dearly because the temperature finally comes down from un-Godly temperatures, but this will be the first year I experience a real fall: Beautiful colors, chilly weather, scarves, crunchy falling leaves, pumpkin candles, folky music, hot chocolate, Frank Sinatra (oh.. my man), and everything else that is good in the Midwest fall. I guess I got carried away and added some things I just want to do regardless of where I'm currently living :)

My roommates have been out of town on a retreat all weekend so I used this weekend to do nothing except stay warm and sleep.. So boring, I know. But now I'm ready to explore the world outside me and see some of what my favorite month entails here in Missouri!

I'm doing some exciting things to celebrate my birthday, like going back to Cali for my ACTUAL birthday weekend, and heading over to CoMo for my "Columbia birthday" the week after.

But I want to have the best-first-real-October ever so now I'm inspired to make a little October goal list:

1. Listen to Frank and the rest of the Rat Pack.
2. Make homemade granola
3. Watch an old movie I've never seen (any suggestions?) while eating homemade popcorn
4. Take up a new hobby
5. Go out and explore KC more
6. Take more pictures
7. Make as many things out of pumpkin as possible
8. Go to a pumpkin patch
9. Do a Facebook fast! (seriously.. now that I have internet I get so sucked in)
10. Spend an entire day with the Lord

...Now to go get started on the exploring :)

Awake my soul, oh Lord.

I have always found purpose in responsibility. Not just one responsibility, but being up to my neck in responsibilities. I feel like I find comfort in that, and from being known. I don't even like new places because I get so uneasy about looking like I have no idea what I'm doing. Even from the moment I became a Christian I threw myself into the church for responsibility and being "known". I really think I was deep-down finding my identity in those things.

You know that moment when you become an adult and you really find out who you are and you are comfortable with it? I don't think I have honestly ever had that, and today I realized that is why I'm here.. Or at least, that's the beginning of why I'm here.

Today was a beautiful [traces of fall] day so I decided to walk to my fav. coffee shop to steal Internet instead of driving there. On my way home I was all of a sudden overcome with emotion because I realized I have never known myself more than I did in that moment. I have never been so aware of me, of God, of the beauty that is this day, and just how much I love where I am/what God has done in my life. I immediately broke down in tears and praise because it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn't help but be in awe of what a great God I serve!

I realized that this time, this place, and some of these people are exactly what I have been needing to finally come into my own.

In Missouri I am virtually a nobody-I have little responsibility, it's highly unlikely for me to see someone I know on the street, and I don't have a name to live up to.

All I truly have is God, and He is helping me figure out how to be an adult, how to spend time/worship Him, how to be honest and accountable, and how to be 100% myself and not the person who accommodates to others.

Yes, I am almost 21 years old, and yes I do think God brought me all the way to Missouri (after beginning this all in Greece, by the way) to awake my soul and awake those passions and desires in me that He created me to have and use for His glory.

Clovis will always be near and dear to my heart. And who knows, I may end up there one day. I built a testimony there, made never ending friendships there (that's right, I do believe in long-distance so you're not losing me), and I learned a lot of really great things, but I think it's time to embrace being a nobody and let God mold me into the adult that follows Him everywhere, anywhere, and to anyone HE wants.

sometimes i really miss greece

...a lot.

Thank GOD that I get to see 6 of these beautiful folks in 6 days :)