Random Metaphors of Life

Lately, I've been feeling somewhat disconnected from God. When I say lately, I mean just this week, but no matter how long.. It's a pretty awful feeling.

Yesterday I cancelled my meeting with the missionaries in hopes that I could reconnect, or at least clear my mind enough to begin to reconnect.

Honestly, I felt extremely sluggish at first. I just kind of sat around and watched TV when I got off of work, but eventually I snapped out of it and, after listening to a podcast about the gospel I started to feel more motivated to take on the day. So I set off on probably the longest, and most agonizing bike ride I've ever been on. I'm pretty sure it was pushing 17 miles (I'm no athlete), not to mention the cold rain and wind.

The point of this isn't to talk about my day, though. I want to talk about two revelations I had.

1. My bike ride seemed metaphorical to me. (If you follow me on twitter you might have seen my tweet, and here's an explanation)

Here I was, in the beginning of my ride, excited. I love love love cold weather and had even hoped it would start raining while I was on the trail. That's how I feel like Christian life feels at times. We get this 'God high' when we're feeling really connected to Him, and even say "bring it" to temptation and hardship, or in my case, wind, rain, and ultimately dry spells from God. That's a great feeling, but it doesn't always feel that way. When the rain and wind actually begin, and we realize how difficult the path in front of us is going to be, we aren't so excited anymore. We become uneasy, and even start to doubt, just hoping to get to the end..

The path begins to feel never-ending, because all we're focused on is enduring. We rely on God and all we want is for Him to help see us to the end. Now, it's definitely good to appreciate and rely on God during tough times, but instead of only focusing on getting to "the light at the end of the tunnel," maybe we should spend some time figuring out how God could use us in these situations. Ask yourself, "How can I glorify God in this time?" and/or "What can I do to experience joy from God during this situation?" It's a way of seeing positive in the negative.. You know, glass half full kind of shtuff.

But then we get to the end! For me, it was the beautiful sight of my car as I came up that last hill. This is the time where we can breathe, relax, and hopefully have a better understanding. We come out of these dry spells or hardships wiser, with a clear head and ready to meditate on how we were used by God and what we learned. Maybe, hopefully, we are even a happier and stronger Christian because of it.

This leads me to #2..

2. Dry spells with God are normal, you just have to know how to handle them. While on my bike ride, I just so happened to be listening to a podcast by Tim Keller about exactly that. The most moving part to me was when he said, "If nothing else, talk to God." If I feel an absence from God, who better to talk to about it than Him? I shouldn't just 'endure to the end' of it and hope that I'll get over it, I need to be proactive through it!


My "metaphorical bike ride" was necessary and definitely successful. Not only do I feel recharged (if you are an introvert like me, you know exactly what I'm talking about), but I'm also feeling much better about this dry spell. I feel like it's behind me, for the most part, and that's a comforting feeling :)

LDS Conversations. (Pt. 1)

This desire to evangelize has been rapidly growing inside of me lately, and I've found that the Mormon church has found a nice little spot in my heart :) So I've been trying to prepare myself for conversations, and future Utah trips I'm going on, and after going to Mormon Ward (church) with Stephen on Sunday I set up a meeting with a couple of missionaries.

Yesterday was that meeting. It was my first conversation with members of the LDS church, and I was pleasantly surprised when Marco (whom is a member I met on Sunday) was there along with Sister Philips (I didn't meet her on Sunday, but they brought her along so I wouldn't worry about being the only girl. She's so sweet, and I was glad she was there), as well as the two missionaries I got to know on Sunday were all there. They were as welcoming as they were on Sunday, and I didn't feel awkward at all, even with the fact that I went there BY MYSELF, without Stephen leading the way.

Sidenote: There's just something about those people that I just can't get enough of! I'm usually pretty socially awkward in certain situations, but I'm normal around them. Possibly even more outgoing! I treat them as if they've been my friends for years. I joke, I ask questions about their life, etc. The small group I encountered this past week has been collectively one of the nicest groups of people I've ever met, and I just love them so much! Anyway, back to the story, I just wanted to share how much I enjoy these people :)

I knew that it wasn't going to be this huge breakthrough conversation, heck I somewhat even expected a few tears, but I didn't expect that halfway through the conversation I would think, "Ughhhh can I just leave already?" (I had already been awake for over 30 hours, so I'm sure that didn't help, but I'm not going to blame it on my own personal decisions). I just felt somewhat cornered. No doubt, I asked for it, but it didn't suck any less.

My point of this isn't to cut myself down, or dedicate an entire blog post about how awful I did.. I just wanted to share how encouraged it made me feel. It probably sounds weird, but in a way, it really did hype me up.

This talk helped me realize that I have to put so much more time and effort into this! Honestly, I still don't even understand half of the whole idea of Mormonism, (which I guarantee was extremely evident yesterday) so how can I expect to successfully "plant stones" without more studying?

I've been dreading the idea of the "first conversation." And although I didn't exactly leave too proud of myself, I am aware of new areas to strengthen, and know more of what to expect. I'm excited to see what God brings me in future conversations!

"Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it"
-1 Peter 3:15